What is important to me is that we don’t avoid or attempt to control unfavorable or negative experiences. That would be impossible. Rather, let us maintain honest awareness of the situation, shed light and support for ourselves and for one another to learn how to address, not suppress, the matter. So we may come out as stronger people who have taken the opportunity for growth… out of love for the life experience; not fear, worry or concern of anything otherwise.
It is like nails on a chalkboard to me when people express worries and concern over the most petty things. Those who criticize over some judgement they’ve made from a fearful perspective or preach about “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” as if all of life fits into the safe box they’ve created in their mind. The reason this is a hard thing for me to swallow is because I used to be one of those people and I know what it feels like to live life in the perspective and idea that I can control the outcome of things.
Everyone lives differently and as parents, people, friends, partners, dog owners, employees, employers, students… whatever hat you wear, most of us approach and do things the best we can and how most of us feel is beneficial, healthy and loving to ourselves and those we care about. Beyond our approach to life, our meaning and purpose of what drives us to live and what we live for may also be very different. For those who’s goals are to live life avoiding as much pain and challenging times as they can, it might feel right to fit into a box of worry and concern.
For those of us who want to live an uninhibited, fearless life experience… I really want to express why being worried or concerned over little things are a serious disservice to you and are not love-building in relationships, let alone to your self-esteem and life perspective.
This is a large reason why we may come across as nonchalant, liberal people to some. Being worried over every single little thing is stressful, unhealthy and supports a fearful perspective that life is not abundant and deceivingly allows us to believe that we can control outcomes based on projected expectations, giving us a false sense of security.
The truth is, I cannot save myself, or those I love, like my child, from ever getting hurt… And being a child myself that was over-protected and sheltered, I have some bitterness over the fact that I wasn’t allowed to fall… Be it on the ground doing some physical activity or failing at something I couldn’t quite handle on my own. I grew to have so much fear of pain and failure that when life inevitably allowed those moments to happen (because it did) I did not know how to be accepting nor address them in a healthy way that allowed me to move through those challenging moments instead of being traumatized by them.
Let me make it clear that living fearless doesn’t mean living reckless, or having a false sense of immortality. But it does mean go out and live life, even if it means taking a risk, like getting into a car (that could befall a fatal accident) to travel to and enjoy a concert, a dinner, or time with friends.
The possibilities of negative events and outcomes are endless… Don’t just fear the most common things you hear via media or conjured from imaginings of the “worse things that could happen”. Be fair to the giving, abundant side of life and maybe start asking yourself, “What’s the best thing that could happen?”
Let go of fear, listen to your inner voice, do what feels right, with love… and you will see it can never lead you wrong. I hope this liberation for all.
-Marin
Kandu Koncepts 