Tag Archives: life

Programmed for Positivity

As far as I know, there’s no organism on this world that pops outta the womb, shell, or earth and says, “Forget it, I’m done”, and rolls over to whatever fate finds it first.  Why then, with that seemingly prewired hopeful outlook, do we have such a hard time feeling positive?

Though it’s hard to argue the thought that we are all pre disposed to see the up side to things, somehow our experience often feels bleak.  Our wrinkly, grey thinkers do what thinkers do best and come up with numerous possible catastrophes bound to take place at any moment.

Creativity, a magnificent tool that brought us out of our caves, had a dark brother that likes to get carried away with late night stories around the recently discovered camp fires.  So despite our instinctual love for life, there exists also a healthy, or perhaps not so healthy, imagination that begs us to be weary.

In a world ever more connected and strangely new all at once, the modern imagination has an arsenal unparalleled by any generation that has come before.  Media can be both a help and a hindrance, as nothing spreads like bad news (something I challenge you to stop encouraging).  Even the social environment we live in often markets fear to us in a ploy to make us feel a need for the next new product.

So You have a choice to make. Feed the fire for the spooky story teller in your head and on your screen, OR find the inner spark of positivity that all life is built on. If you choose the latter, here’s a few things I’ve seen that are helpful:

 Reduce negative input – You bring about what you think about. Don’t believe me? Try thinking about how bad people drive before getting in your car next and note what happens. Better yet, try the opposite. By actively reducing negative input from news or your social interactions, your mind will have less fuel to create wild fires of fear in your head, and hence, your perception as well.

Plug in to positivity – Whether it’s music, happy news feeds, or feel good social groups, get involved with those good vibrations and watch them refurbish your perspective of life.

Practice gratitude – Some say write a list in the morning, others reflect on all they appreciate in the evenings, I say do it whenever you want, can, or just feel like.  Make it your spare moment activity.  Practice makes perfect, and having a grateful life is no exception.  It’s also one of the best ways to guarantee a positive life for you and those affected by you (everyone around you).

If all else fails, or you find yourself in a slump, as Dr. Seuss wisely says you’re bound to, remember this:  The world might be full of dangers, tragedies, and slumps, but an ever growing population of people still choose to get out of bed each day and make the most of it.  And guess what? You are one of them, so appreciate that!

Thank you for making my life that much more abundant with your presence, thoughts, and feelings,

Brett

P.S.  If you found this helpful or fun, please share it with someone you feel could benefit or enjoy it too.

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Say Okay to Life

Life comes at you hard and fast sometimes.  Often it’s tough to not take a defensive stance towards the constant borage of moment to moment life.  When you get jaded by the impossibility of saying no to life, and you really don’t feel like saying yes, remember there is always another option.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked at my life and said, “Why? I don’t want this, I didn’t ask for this, and nothing can make me like it!”  Doesn’t stop it from being true, and since there’s no rule saying I have to like it, there’s only one other route.  Be OK with it.

The baby is screaming, the dog just pissed on the floor, and the two year old is in emotional turmoil over lunch options. Now I can’t instantly make everything right, and I certainly don’t like the predicament, but if I breath and focus, I can find acceptance for it.

“Great! Brett’s telling me it’s ok to roll over and let life happen.  What a load off!” Well not exactly, but I am suggesting you remove the strain by refraining from fighting what is.

Faced with a life or death situation, some people might freeze, but I think most find acceptance and optional escape routes rather quickly. Even in sports, the coach doesn’t say to the team, “Alright, just sit down for the next play, we’re finished.” He says, “Ok we’re down nine points with ten seconds on the clock.  We’re going to foul the hell out em, make faces while they shank all their free throws and sink three full court shots.  Let’s go!”  Irrational optimism aside, situations like these demand immediate acceptance, and are hence approached with clarity and little to no resistance. Bringing this sober matter-a-fact attitude to everyday struggles can dramatically reduce the “drama” associated with the problems we would otherwise want to resist.

Accepting life as it is lends the quickest assistance to living your day like you want. This is not a forfeit of action, merely a mindset of allowing that leads to more living and less worrying. Try it out, and if you have any thoughts on the matter, pipe up and share with the community.  Thanks gang,

Brett

 

Life

Life: the sum of all experience from an infinite number of perspectives.  One cannot escape what has formed him, only find contentment, peace and wonderment for the whole that he is.
This is love.

Some long time ago, science explains, single cell organisms made the choice to work together. Over a time span I find hard to grasp, they decided to stick together.  Life was somehow easier, more rewarding, safer.  Whatever the reason, the idea caught on and complex creatures made up of multiple tiny cells gave birth to a process of expansion and communal growth that flourishes to this very day.

Those first cells displayed something that surely is an innate fact of being:  the idea that together, we grow.

This is the essence of love.  Working together took acceptance, cooperation, compassion, all aspects of love. And while one might consider this early love a dry romance out of cold necessity, it is hard for this particular multi-celled organism to disregard the fiery affair that was born from what must have been a nervous first encounter. Life goes on now in much the same way, but has since grown, through the aspects of love, to have a freedom those first young conjugators could scarcely dream of.

No longer are we bound by the need for time to evolve us into the next level that love has to offer.  The choice is available now for us to embrace acceptance, cooperation, and compassion in a combined motivation to reach new heights in experience that we have yet to dream of.

Make no mistake though, this is a desire in all of us. A deep knowing persists in us that competition is trumped by cooperation, and that acceptance through compassion is the tool by which our growth, not as individuals, but as life itself continues.

-Brett

Instant Peace through Gratitude

Life is a series of moments. None more or less significant than the rest. I would not be who I am today without each seemingly trivial cog in the wheel that rolls out the story of this life that I arrogantly call my own.

Looking back on the experiences I’ve had teaches me one very important truth:  Be grateful for where you are and you will never resent where you have been or fear where the wheel is taking you.  No strife, challenge, despair or loneliness has ever torn me down. Quite the contrary, they have built me one brick at a time. And while i have learned it is futile to choose in what order the bricks fall, I know in all certainty that gratitude is the mortar which holds the beautifully haphazard sculpture together.

Over time through gratitude, patience, and practice, I gained acceptance and trust in the artist, which has rewarded me in such times of diligence with that which we all seek… peace. Or at least that’s what our esteemed beauty pageant contestants always seem to think. 😉

– Brett
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How Powerful is Thought?

All too often we give the past and our fears of the future too much power over our ability to live and experience life freely. We have all heard phrases such as, “Mind over matter” or “What you think about, you bring about”, but how much of that is really true?

When I first decided on a natural childbirth I was 100% sure I could easily do it and that I would come out stronger and more confident on the other side. But for those who have witnessed The Birth of Love (my first child), they would know that easy and confident are  two words that would not describe that labor and delivery.

My choice to share it on the Internet was to educate and inspire women; In fact I did just that… I educated young ladies about why not to engaged in sexual intercourse without foreseeing the consequences: Never mind raising a child, they didn’t even want to get to the giving birth part… And I inspired women to be sure they wanted to go to the hospital and get an epidural.

Big round of applause to me. Those were obviously not my goals.

I came out of my first birth physically traumatized with 7 painful stitches in the front and 2 months of bed rest. I remember thinking, “They said labor was hard, but no one told me about after labor!”

So what happened to all my confidence prior to the birth? Why did I not feel the strength I thought I would gain after a supposedly “beautiful” experience?
It all has to do with subconscious programming. Even though it made sense to bring my child into the world as intervention, drug-free as possible and how we’re naturally intended, as women, to do it… The ideas, images and thoughts on natural childbirth were scary in my subconscious mind! All I ever heard growing up was that childbirth was the most painful experience a woman would go through. And movies/TV shows proved this statement to be true, with images of women screaming their heads off on the hospital bed.

When I found out about our second pregnancy, I knew something had to change. I was not going to re-live the same experience again and I firmly believed it could be different. Once I decided on this perspective, everything seemed to fall into my lap including a birthing course called Hypnobabies, which focuses on teaching a medical grade self hypnosis technique, originally used for people who undergo surgery but are allergic to anesthetics. Self hypnosis, I found, was just meditation and self affirmation… a “reprogramming” of the subconscious mind and it’s beliefs.

I spent a several times a day learning to relax and affirming to myself that birth was easy, painless, and normal. I affirmed the idea that contractions felt calming and I deserve a quick, easy, painless childbirth.

I had no idea if these affirmations were working, all I knew was that I would do my best to trust it and well… the results were not what I expected. It was so much more than I ever thought possible. Unimaginably amazing:
Watch the Birth of Elovie

With this experience I can no longer deny the power behind our thoughts, beliefs and even subconscious programming; such as reading the news, watching tv or engaging in conversations with friends. I know my experience is something most people do not relate to, but I wanted to share it, along with the powerful images and experience of these videos because I believe anyone and everyone can make their entire life experience whatever they think or believe it could be.

So what are you programming your subconscious mind with on a daily basis? How would you change your thoughts and feelings about certain aspects of life if you could?

~Marin
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The Damage of Worry & Concern

What is important to me is that we don’t avoid or attempt to control unfavorable or negative experiences. That would be impossible. Rather, let us maintain honest awareness of the situation, shed light and support for ourselves and for one another to learn how to address, not suppress, the matter. So we may come out as stronger people who have taken the opportunity for growth… out of love for the life experience; not fear, worry or concern of anything otherwise.

It is like nails on a chalkboard to me when people express worries and concern over the most petty things. Those who criticize over some judgement they’ve made from a fearful perspective or preach about “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” as if all of life fits into the safe box they’ve created in their mind. The reason this is a hard thing for me to swallow is because I used to be one of those people and I know what it feels like to live life in the perspective and idea that I can control the outcome of things.

Everyone lives differently and as parents, people, friends, partners, dog owners, employees, employers, students… whatever hat you wear, most of us approach and do things the best we can and how most of us feel is beneficial, healthy and loving to ourselves and those we care about. Beyond our approach to life, our meaning and purpose of what drives us to live and what we live for may also be very different. For those who’s goals are to live life avoiding as much pain and challenging times as they can, it might feel right to fit into a box of worry and concern.

For those of us who want to live an uninhibited, fearless life experience… I really want to express why being worried or concerned over little things are a serious disservice to you and are not love-building in relationships, let alone to your self-esteem and life perspective.
This is a large reason why we may come across as nonchalant, liberal people to some. Being worried over every single little thing is stressful, unhealthy and supports a fearful perspective that life is not abundant and deceivingly allows us to believe that we can control outcomes based on projected expectations, giving us a false sense of security.

The truth is, I cannot save myself, or those I love, like my child, from ever getting hurt… And being a child myself that was over-protected and sheltered, I have some bitterness over the fact that I wasn’t allowed to fall… Be it on the ground doing some physical activity or failing at something I couldn’t quite handle on my own. I grew to have so much fear of pain and failure that when life inevitably allowed those moments to happen (because it did) I did not know how to be accepting nor address them in a healthy way that allowed me to move through those challenging moments instead of being traumatized by them.

Let me make it clear that living fearless doesn’t mean living reckless, or having a false sense of immortality. But it does mean go out and live life, even if it means taking a risk, like getting into a car (that could befall a fatal accident) to travel to and enjoy a concert, a dinner, or time with friends.

The possibilities of negative events and outcomes are endless… Don’t just fear the most common things you hear via media or conjured from imaginings of the “worse things that could happen”. Be fair to the giving, abundant side of life and maybe start asking yourself, “What’s the best thing that could happen?”

Let go of fear, listen to your inner voice, do what feels right, with love… and you will see it can never lead you wrong. I hope this liberation for all.

-Marin
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Unconditional Life

“Nothing you become will disappoint me; I have no preconception that I’d like to see you be or do. I have no desire to foresee you, only to discover you. You cannot disappoint me.”
-Naomi Aldort, “Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves”

I love this quote, not only because it reminds me of what perception I may have if I were to unconditionally love someone… But also the perception I wish to wholeheartedly embody when approaching life.

Can you imagine what life would be like if nothing were a disappointment? What if the only desire we had was to discover it? No expectations, no conditional circumstances to define our happiness or satisfaction…

What a beautiful experience that would be.

Even more so beautiful is the idea that the experience is not only possible, it is readily available to us as soon as we are willing to let go of our expectations and judgements of what is right or wrong, good or bad about life.

It is ALL experience.

And whether we are to discover the experience of happiness and love, or the experience of sadness and betrayal… None of it is disappointing. It is all just another fragment to discover in this unlimited, ever-abundant experience of life!

Live freely!
-Marin

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