If I Didn’t Love Myself…

…how could I love anyone?  On a physical level this concept is simple: if I can’t take care of myself, my body, how on earth can I do that for another.  It baffles me to see doctors and nurses smoking on break, or overweight P.E. teachers sending kids on laps.  Just doesn’t make sense.  On the other hand, you typically don’t see health conscious parents running around with obese kids.  They have passed along their love and respect for their own bodies to the ones they care about “most”.

How can I take care of another, if I myself need taking care of? Pretty simple.

The mental aspect takes a little more self honesty.  We as humans have a tendency to see in others what irks us most about ourselves.  Even if that’s not the case, whatever judgements you are holding against yourself that keep you from loving who you are won’t stop at introspection.  Bottom line is, if you can’t be accepting of your own perfect imperfections, how on earth can you begin to do that for another.  And what is love, but acceptance of something for what it is?  Letting go of the judgement against yourself frees your mind to do the same for others.

So my challenge to you is to teach others to love themselves by being the example, you will be amazed at the effect it has on those around you, especially the ones you care for most.

-Brett

Unconditional Life

“Nothing you become will disappoint me; I have no preconception that I’d like to see you be or do. I have no desire to foresee you, only to discover you. You cannot disappoint me.”
-Naomi Aldort, “Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves”

I love this quote, not only because it reminds me of what perception I may have if I were to unconditionally love someone… But also the perception I wish to wholeheartedly embody when approaching life.

Can you imagine what life would be like if nothing were a disappointment? What if the only desire we had was to discover it? No expectations, no conditional circumstances to define our happiness or satisfaction…

What a beautiful experience that would be.

Even more so beautiful is the idea that the experience is not only possible, it is readily available to us as soon as we are willing to let go of our expectations and judgements of what is right or wrong, good or bad about life.

It is ALL experience.

And whether we are to discover the experience of happiness and love, or the experience of sadness and betrayal… None of it is disappointing. It is all just another fragment to discover in this unlimited, ever-abundant experience of life!

Live freely!
-Marin

Loving is not being a Pushover

Today was a little bit of a challenge for me. We had loaned some money to a company who’s debt is way overdue and its not fun when push comes to shove and things get to terms of legal action. Through this all, I am trying to find the lesson in it… I don’t think it’s: “Never trust people again.” And I certainly believe that all things serve the purpose of love.

With that notion, I thought of two things:
1. Being loving doesn’t mean, be a push over.
2. You can still be unconditionally loving and understanding even though you have to set conditions for certain situations.

It is really easy for my ego to withhold love when I feel someone is either undeserving or has done me injustice. I think we all can feel that way sometimes. It’s hard to want to love or understand someone when it feels like they’re taking advantage of your kindness and compassion. But putting the blame on someone, regardless of how unjust their actions are, is just a form of self victimization and victimization is neither freeing nor empowering.

I can truly say, while I despise the actions and the situation involving the owner of this company, I have no feelings of hate or dislike towards them. Once I take responsibility for my actions and feelings, it is easy to see how their actions and feelings don’t serve them any justice. I can actually see why they may be acting out the way that they are.

This doesn’t mean I don’t expect them to hold to the contract and pay us back. It just means with my understanding and forgiveness I free myself from resisting who that person is or how they are acting. I don’t have to stress about how inconsiderate, unfair, or dishonest they are being. The situation is where it is and now I am free to use my energy to do what I can to make it right.