Tag Archives: positive attitude

Programmed for Positivity

As far as I know, there’s no organism on this world that pops outta the womb, shell, or earth and says, “Forget it, I’m done”, and rolls over to whatever fate finds it first.  Why then, with that seemingly prewired hopeful outlook, do we have such a hard time feeling positive?

Though it’s hard to argue the thought that we are all pre disposed to see the up side to things, somehow our experience often feels bleak.  Our wrinkly, grey thinkers do what thinkers do best and come up with numerous possible catastrophes bound to take place at any moment.

Creativity, a magnificent tool that brought us out of our caves, had a dark brother that likes to get carried away with late night stories around the recently discovered camp fires.  So despite our instinctual love for life, there exists also a healthy, or perhaps not so healthy, imagination that begs us to be weary.

In a world ever more connected and strangely new all at once, the modern imagination has an arsenal unparalleled by any generation that has come before.  Media can be both a help and a hindrance, as nothing spreads like bad news (something I challenge you to stop encouraging).  Even the social environment we live in often markets fear to us in a ploy to make us feel a need for the next new product.

So You have a choice to make. Feed the fire for the spooky story teller in your head and on your screen, OR find the inner spark of positivity that all life is built on. If you choose the latter, here’s a few things I’ve seen that are helpful:

 Reduce negative input – You bring about what you think about. Don’t believe me? Try thinking about how bad people drive before getting in your car next and note what happens. Better yet, try the opposite. By actively reducing negative input from news or your social interactions, your mind will have less fuel to create wild fires of fear in your head, and hence, your perception as well.

Plug in to positivity – Whether it’s music, happy news feeds, or feel good social groups, get involved with those good vibrations and watch them refurbish your perspective of life.

Practice gratitude – Some say write a list in the morning, others reflect on all they appreciate in the evenings, I say do it whenever you want, can, or just feel like.  Make it your spare moment activity.  Practice makes perfect, and having a grateful life is no exception.  It’s also one of the best ways to guarantee a positive life for you and those affected by you (everyone around you).

If all else fails, or you find yourself in a slump, as Dr. Seuss wisely says you’re bound to, remember this:  The world might be full of dangers, tragedies, and slumps, but an ever growing population of people still choose to get out of bed each day and make the most of it.  And guess what? You are one of them, so appreciate that!

Thank you for making my life that much more abundant with your presence, thoughts, and feelings,

Brett

P.S.  If you found this helpful or fun, please share it with someone you feel could benefit or enjoy it too.

Say Okay to Life

Life comes at you hard and fast sometimes.  Often it’s tough to not take a defensive stance towards the constant borage of moment to moment life.  When you get jaded by the impossibility of saying no to life, and you really don’t feel like saying yes, remember there is always another option.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked at my life and said, “Why? I don’t want this, I didn’t ask for this, and nothing can make me like it!”  Doesn’t stop it from being true, and since there’s no rule saying I have to like it, there’s only one other route.  Be OK with it.

The baby is screaming, the dog just pissed on the floor, and the two year old is in emotional turmoil over lunch options. Now I can’t instantly make everything right, and I certainly don’t like the predicament, but if I breath and focus, I can find acceptance for it.

“Great! Brett’s telling me it’s ok to roll over and let life happen.  What a load off!” Well not exactly, but I am suggesting you remove the strain by refraining from fighting what is.

Faced with a life or death situation, some people might freeze, but I think most find acceptance and optional escape routes rather quickly. Even in sports, the coach doesn’t say to the team, “Alright, just sit down for the next play, we’re finished.” He says, “Ok we’re down nine points with ten seconds on the clock.  We’re going to foul the hell out em, make faces while they shank all their free throws and sink three full court shots.  Let’s go!”  Irrational optimism aside, situations like these demand immediate acceptance, and are hence approached with clarity and little to no resistance. Bringing this sober matter-a-fact attitude to everyday struggles can dramatically reduce the “drama” associated with the problems we would otherwise want to resist.

Accepting life as it is lends the quickest assistance to living your day like you want. This is not a forfeit of action, merely a mindset of allowing that leads to more living and less worrying. Try it out, and if you have any thoughts on the matter, pipe up and share with the community.  Thanks gang,

Brett

 

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Ever feel bad for feeling bad? A common trap for us “positeevers” is to feel guilty about not always believing the world to be sunshine and roses. We reason with ourselves that there is no practical point in being grumpy. Yet somehow, we still are.

What’s going on here? Expectations have been made of ourselves to always be cheerful, and when we come up short, disappointment, like that we have for a misbehaving child, sets in. The bar is always set high by one’s self, and positivity, like any other goal, is not fun to feel a failure at.

Have we really failed though? Is it our expectation to never feel bad? Furthermore, is putting guilt on ourselves a good penance for having slipped down a dark path?

There is another way. It’s often referred to as acceptance. Guilt is a resistance to a current, unwanted outcome of an action performed in the past.

Can’t change the past though, and arguably, not the present either. You can only accept where you’ve been and where you are, and then go on living.

Acknowledging your state of mind allows you to realize that that is all it is. Once you see the origin of your guilt as a simple resistance in your way of thinking, it tends to melt away. The argument dissolves when you stop fighting the way you feel.  When there is no opponent to your crummy attitude, the attitude is left to heal itself, as there is nothing else for it to do.

I encourage you to try this simple approach for yourself, and please remember to let us know how it works. Extreme honesty will be required, but I am confident you can find peace when you stop denying yourself the experience of unhappiness. Sit with your upset, look it in face and watch its reality melt away.

Thanks for reading.  Till next time,

Brett

Tired & Happy

Those two words don’t sound right together. Do you get cranky when you’re tired? Most of us do although being tired or sleepy doesn’t have to denote being cranky. So why does it happen then?

Most of us feel justified or surrender to the monster within when we don’t get enough sleep or have worn ourselves out. Subconsciously, we are resistant and not happy about the fact that we don’t have more energy to address life in each tired moment. Do I really have to patiently listen to this person’s useless conversation that’s not worth my precious time and energy at the moment?! Why won’t the kids stop inconveniencing my attempt to be efficient at cleaning up?!

The beautiful thing is being tired or sleepy doesn’t have to result in crankiness. In fact, I’ve found when I am tired & happy, being tired is not so bad after all. Things may not go the way the I want or expect, but it’s all groovy baby and im relieved of the torture and suffering that results in my dragging ass.

Here’s how you can kick the tired-monster to the curb:

  1. Be aware that you’re cranky and look for the resistance or unhappiness about your circumstance. Perhaps you had a big to-do list that just isn’t getting done?
  2. Accept how you feel: tired, like you won’t be able to finish the to-do list, afraid that you won’t have enough time tomorrow, etc. 
  3. Realize that being upset takes more energy that you don’t have.
  4. Choose to let it go. You can to your best to tackle the task at hand, but remember to focus on the most important things in your life, like being loving to those around you and keeping your inner peace. The list will get done when it gets done.

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