Less than Good Enough

I recently watched a Ted Talk on the Paradox of Choices… The argument being that more choices could potentially lead to less contentment.

Usually I am very happy with the choices I ‘ve made and have the ability to make in life, but this concept shed light onto the one area where the paradox of choice has definitely left me less content: Where is the best place to live?

After traveling so much my husband and I have had the pleasure to find appreciation for each culture and country that we visit. Every place has its perks. But what place is the best place to settle down in? Where can we truly be happy? As we continue to wander around the globe, picking up and settling back down every other year or so, it seems that we continually look back and say, “Well the last place wasn’t so bad after all…” But when we were there, the emotion of wanting something different, something more was so strong that we hardly felt happy.

Every experience was less than good enough.

It took a moment to assess the cause of this cycle and I when I did, I finally realized it came from a seemingly harmless, unconscious place: The focus on comparison and judgement. I reflected on how my thoughts and awareness were filled with things like:
“People don’t know how to drive around here.”
“The unpredictable, erratic weather sucks.”
“I miss having an abundance of health food shops around.”
“It would be nice if didn’t snow.”

These thoughts seem like factual preferences, but they were keeping me from an attitude of appreciation and they began to slowly turn into complaints and dislikes. When someone asked me how I liked living here, I’d find myself mentioning all the negatives first.

I spent the last couple months practicing a new focus on the things I truly liked and enjoyed.
“I love how easy it is to be car-less here.”
“I love how convenient the culture is for people with families.”
“I love the beautiful mountain views.”
“I love the abundance in beautiful parks and splash pads nearby.”

This new focus has dramatically changed my thoughts and feelings on where I live. And although I still feel like it is not my preference to settle down and raise my family here… I really feel abundant in what it is I am able to enjoy while being here. The feelings of want and discontentment no longer exist.

Because of the positive changes and peace I felt in practicing this exercise, I took it into other areas of my life… like how I think about myself, my job, society, and even as simple as my thoughts on the dinner that I had at a new restaurant. It has left me feeling grateful and abundant for all the good things in my life, while eliminating the distraught over the things I much less prefer.

Where could you apply this practice in your life?